


Bar None

by sagansjagger



Series: Bad Dads Club [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Bar crawl, Friendship, Good Significant Other Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Male Friendship, Married Life, Other, Parent Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Pub Crawl, Walk Into A Bar, good parent adrien agreste
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24492481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/pseuds/sagansjagger
Summary: XY and Adrien, old friends, go on bar crawl. Hijinks ensue.That’s it, that’s the fic.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, XY & Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, XY (Miraculous Ladybug) & Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir
Series: Bad Dads Club [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767334
Comments: 23
Kudos: 37





	Bar None

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! If you’ve read my other stories, thank you so much! And if you’re a new reader, allow me to greet you. This fic is a standalone, but it may benefit you to read it in conjunction with its sister fic, the first one in the Bad Dads Club series, [Technically Techno](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461485). That being said, if you don’t want to read that and just want to read a bar crawl, more power to you!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Cass

“Hey, honey pot,” a sultry woman said to Adrien, smoothing her hands over her clingy, leather mini-skirt. Her two heavily-made up friends giggled and crowded around him, choking off his air supply in the bar. “Are you looking for a good time?” 

Adrien quickly shook his head. He hadn't drunk nearly enough for this. He knew coming out on a bar crawl with XY was a bad idea. 

Adrien glanced at the bar, where his friend was buying two more rounds for them. The former-model turned back to the pink-haired woman and held up his ring hand with a smile. “Sorry, I’m taken.” 

The woman cooed at him. She stepped even closer into his space, and pressed her chest against his, so she could crane her neck and whisper in his ear. “She doesn’t have to know.”

XY draped an arm over Adrien’s shoulder, drinks in hand. “Sorry, ladies, he’s _married_ ,” the DJ said, giving the woman a toothy grin. “But I’m available to party… after I get him home.”

The woman’s black lips twisted. She stepped away from Adrien, and a rush of air filled the space she’d left. “No, thanks,” she said, and strutted off. The other two followed, consoling her.

Adrien let loose the breath of air he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Thanks, XY.”

“No problem, man,” XY said, turning to face Adrien with his arm still around his shoulder. Adrien could smell the cocktails on XY’s breath as he kissed his cheek. “I know you’re prettier than me. No wonder the girls all want you.”

“Curse of a former model,” Adrien said, grinning. “Don’t worry, XY, you’ll… you’ll get there eventually?”

“I’ll get some action. But not tonight.”

Adrien laughed. “Don’t hold back the charm on my account.”

“No way, I made a promise to Marinette I’d get you home in one piece,” XY said, letting his shoulder go. “And I’m going to stick to that. I mean, I haven’t seen her on the warpath myself, just heard stories from you, but I don’t _want_ to see that.”

"A solid plan," Adrien said, shaking his head. His wife was scary when she wanted to be, especially in the final battle against Hawkmoth, after Gabriel had revealed Emilie and traumatized Adrien. He never wanted to see Ladybug pissed off that badly again.

XY offered Adrien his drink, which the former-model sniffed. It smelled like raspberries and lemon--and of course, alcohol. Vodka, if Adrien had to guess. His sense of smell had improved dramatically after spending a lot of time transformed as Chat, battling akumas and courting Marinette. 

He sipped at the drink experimentally while XY knocked his own down. The thirty-four-year-old DJ had already had twice as much liquor as Adrien, having said earlier that he was planning on boozing it up that night.

This was their third bar, and Adrien’s third drink, and his body felt warm and relaxed. XY was sillier than normal, or at least Adrien thought so. “Hey, hey, watch this,” his friend said, flexing his skinny, little arms. “Lookit me. I’m the strongest man around here. And you know it.”

Adrien cracked up. “Absolutely you are,” he said, patting XY on the back. He took another drink of his firewater.

“You know what? You should flex, too.”

“I think I’ll pass,” Adrien said, smirking. “After all, one of us has to maintain a semblance of decorum.”

A tequila sunrise and a passion fruit hurricane later, Adrien couldn’t care less about that. He was showing off his muscles to the bar at large, too.

They entered their sixth bar of the night, a trendy, dusky pink venue a few strides away from the bustling Rue Oberkampf by the name of Bisou. Adrien thought the hanging plants outside were a nice touch.

“Oh, my gosh, they have karaoke,” Adrien said, his eyes going wide as he pointed to the amatuer singers crowded in a corner of the bar. “XY! We should sing!”

“Yesssss!” XY said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Did you know that I’m a good singer?” 

Adrien threw his arms around his friend. “Bro, you are the best. Has anyone told you that? You’re great. Let’s go sing. I miss Marinette. Do you think she wants to hear us sing?”

Adrien and XY crossed to the ‘stage’: a section of the black floor cordoned off with blue masking tape. They asked the karaoke host if they could pick a song, and while Adrien couldn’t quite manage the finger coordination to punch the selection into the tablet’s interface, XY was able to. Barely.

Then they waited their turn, until their song came up: Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero.”

“I need a hero!” They sang the chorus together into the mics, looping their arms around each other and swaying. XY’s voice was surprisingly good, but Adrien couldn’t even tell how good his own sounded, being so tipsy. “I’m holding out for a hero until the end of the night!”

The crowd, scattered though it was, threw their hands into the air and cheered.

“And he’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight!”

They finished the song to raucous toasts and immediately burst into laughter. Happy tears ran down Adrien’s face. XY faced him on the stage, and slapped his back thrice.

“That was great!” Adrien said, handing off the mic. Arm in arm, they left the stage and approached the marble counter. They stopped while halfway there and giggled at each other.

Then XY turned serious again. He placed his hands on Adrien’s shoulders. “Adrien. _Adrien_ ,” XY said, and Adrien struggled to focus. XY clearly needed him, and he wanted to pay attention to his friend. “ _You_ are my hero.”

Adrien’s jaw went slack. Then he beamed. “You’re my hero, too!” 

XY sniffled. “I’m no one’s hero,” he said, glancing at his shoes. “No one loves me.”

Adrien had an alarmingly-compelling urge to protect his friend. Adrien kissed his forehead. “Ssssh. Just, ssssh.” The former-model smoothed his friend’s hair back with an awkward petting motion. “I love you. Do you hear me? I _love_ you. You are wonderful. You are valid. And worth loving.” 

He pecked XY on the lips. “And no one will take you from me.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” XY said, finally beaming again.

“Good,” Adrien said, tearing up. “I-I don’t know what I’d do without my friends. All of you. Everyone in Bisou.”

“We love you, too.”

“I know,” Adrien said, the tears rolling down his cheeks. He leaned on his friend. “I mean, I think I know. People love me. Did you know that? People. Love. Me. It’s amazing. It’s unreal. I-I never expected to be loved.”

“Yeah,” XY said, holding Adrien up. “You were pretty messed up there, for a while, my man.”

Adrien sniffled, and wiped his nose on the back of his wrist. “Right? I was so depressed after… After Hawkmoth,” he spat, “that I could barely _function_. Without Marinette and my friends and my therapist--oh, gosh, do you think I should call my therapist? Can we invite her to the bar crawl?” He smiled. “Dr. Pemberley would love that.”

“Heck, yeah, let’s get your therapist in on this!” XY said, pumping a fist. “But not right now. Right now, you need to go home and sleep it off.”

“Nuuu,” Adrien whined, swaying on his feet. “One more drink?”

XY sighed. “You know I can’t say no to the kitten eyes. One more drink.”

“I’m paying for this one,” Adrien insisted, dragging his friend to the bar.

“Are you sure?” XY said, followed with stumbling steps. “I know the Dupain-Chat Noir bakery is doing well, but I still make more than you.”

“I’m sure,” Adrien said, slapping his hand down on the counter. He turned to the bartender. “Two amaretto sours, please.”

The bartender whipped up their drinks, presenting them with orange slices and maraschino cherries. Adrien took his under his nose to smell it. He detected almond, lemon, and sugar. _Mmm_ , he thought, and downed half of it in one gulp. He nearly choked.

“Easy, easy,” XY said, patting Adrien on the back. “Jeez. Marinette is gonna kill me.”

“Naaah,” Adrien said, waving his hand in a dramatic flourish. He overbalanced himself, and landed on his butt, one hand dragging down the bar. “Oh, gosh, I’m drunk, aren’t I? Did you know that? Were you trying to get me drunk?”

XY gave him a toothy grin. “That was the point of the evening, yes.”

Adrien lifted a hand. XY tried to grab it, but fumbled. With difficulty and taking both of them to do it, Adrien got to his feet. He swayed, and leaned his head on XY’s shoulder. “The room is spinning.”

“Are you gonna throw up?”

“No,” Adrien said quickly. “Maybe?”

“Oh, jeez,” XY said, and directed Adrien to pay for their drinks. He did, but XY didn’t drink his, intent on getting Adrien home.

Using each other as sources of support, the two friends staggered out into the street. Adrien sank down to the asphalt and lay on his belly. “Help. I can’t go on anymore. Someone took out my legs at the knee,” he said, moaning. "I'm going to be useless if an akuma hits."

"You don't have to worry about akumas anymore, my friend. There hasn't been a Hawkmoth for a couple of years now, remember?" XY laughed, and with a surprising show of strength and drunken dexterity, managed to scoop Adrien up and place him on XY’s back. “Let’s get you home, buddy.”

Marinette was gonna kill him.

**Author's Note:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


End file.
